In the past week, I have learned that two old friends died, and both were seemingly too young to go. One was a guy I knew in high school - he was a year younger than I am, and always full of energy and vigor. The other was a former coworker and a past commenter on this blog, though he hadn't written in a few months. Both were great guys. Neither appeared ready to leave this earth, at least from my limited perspective.
The world's loss of these two people left me to wonder about time and purpose - specifically my own. Because these two men's lives ended in ways that suggested it was quite simply "their time to go" according to God's will, I take that to mean they served whatever purpose God intended them to serve.
I saw an old friend last weekend and we briefly discussed this very thing. He said he didn't think he had even begun to serve "his purpose," though he wasn't sure what exactly it is he's meant to accomplish while on earth. As I listened to him, I realized that I don't have a clue what my purpose on earth is, either. I used to have grand ideas and believe that God intended me to do something big and fabulous. But now, I'm not so sure. The older I get the more I have a desire to help the people around me, if in no other way than to spread a little joy wherever I go. I used to do that through music (and plan to do more of that very soon), and in pursuing my master's degree, I used both book knowledge and life lessons to guide my counseling clients to make positive changes in their lives. I feel that I've been successful, to a certain degree, in both areas.
But obviously, I still haven't satisfied God's grand plan. Not that I'm in a rush, mind you, because that would mean I'd be leaving soon. And quite frankly, I'm not yet ready to go. But all this week I've been wondering what my purpose is on earth. Am I supposed to reach people through music? Maybe. Am I supposed to continue the counseling path and help people to see things more clearly in their own lives? Maybe.
Maybe my purpose has nothing to do with ME at all. Maybe my purpose is actually to teach my child what she needs to know so that SHE is capable of accomplishing her life's task. Maybe it's my daughter who is supposed to do something big and fabulous. Anything is possible.
The truth is, I don't know the what, where, when, why or how. All I know is that I'll continue my walk as long as I'm given time to do so, and I'll try to bring a little joy to those around me on a daily basis, while constantly asking for divine guidance.
I'll miss those who, in my limited understanding, seem to have left the world too early. But I'll also try to keep in mind that God's timing is not my own. And His timing is perfect.
1 Corinthians 2:7
No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.