Hurry Up And Wait
I will have to check with my husband, The Writer and captain of the irony police, to find out for sure, but I believe it may hint at irony that I am about to write a blog post complaining about spending the livelong day waiting on things, people, etc., when I haven't even written on this silly blog for about a year and a half. I think only 3 or 4 people ever really read this thing, though, so that may possibly negate the whole irony thing since it is unlikely that anyone is actually waiting on me to post something. Or at least not anymore. I certainly hope they aren't.
But ANYway... As I was about to say...
It seems I spend my entire life waiting - waiting in lines, waiting for slow drivers to get out of the left lane, waiting on people to return emails or texts or phone calls. And I hate to wait. I have the patience of, well... of somebody who has no patience. As we in the praise and worship business would say, it's not my gift.
The waiting in line or waiting on slow drivers is just a part of life, though. I get that. And having patience in those situations is on me... it's something I need to work on and pray about and fix within myself. I have found that many of my sins in this life are related to time. I seem to always be in a hurry, and it affects my attitude. Or let me rephrase that -- I allow it to affect my attitude or my mood.
My problem with time may be related to the years I worked in industries that required strict deadlines. In the television news business, for example, I had several deadlines per day: I had to produce (write and most times also shoot and edit video) and deliver three sportscasts for the evening news at 5, 6 and 10 pm, plus record another sportscast for the morning show after I finished the 10pm news. So I had to prepare and be ready... the news doesn't wait. After years of working in that environment I got used to doing my job quickly - accurately, yes, but I got it done fast. And I never really ever slowed down.
So when I have a job or a task that needs to get done, I don't procrastinate. I just do it. Some of the things I do for my job require me to think creatively, so it may take me a minute to figure out where to begin. But once I find my starting point, I'm off to the races. I just keep going until I've hit the finish line.
And it's not just with work, either. I was talking to a colleague the other day about decorating for Christmas. I love Christmas decorations once they are up. But the actual tasks of decorating and then removing the decor at the end of the holidays are not fun to me. And it's probably because it takes me such a long time to put everything up and take it down, and I just can't do it little by little. My friend said she decorates a little at a time, but it drives me crazy to leave it half done. So I just keep working my tail off until I finish the job.
With all this in mind, when I have to wait for someone to do something, send me something, respond to a text/email/call in order to finish the task I have in front of me, it drives me absolutely bananas. Why? Because it forces me to wait. And when I get on a roll and then have to stop and wait... and wait.... and wait some more, and I can't move any further into the work because I'M WAITING ON SOMEBODY who is apparently not in a hurry and/or doesn't care enough to respond...
Well, you get the picture.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I am typically dealing with a deadline, but that matters not to those I'm waiting on. So should I start on something new? Should I take a break and go talk to somebody or make a phone call, or walk the dog, or clean the house? Probably. But most of the time I just sit there and stew in my impatience, which of course does no good whatsoever except to successfully raise my blood pressure and give me a headache.
I remember when I was at the Miss America Pageant as that year's Miss Louisiana, the backstage crew constantly rushed us (contestants) to the stage during rehearsals, and then we would have to sit for sometimes an hour or more before we were actually needed to do something. LOTS of hurrying up to wait. Gary Collins was the host that year, and I vividly remember the stage crew summoning him to the stage. He got there, stood for maybe 2 minutes, and then started screaming, "Don't you f-ing call me out to the f-ing stage until you are f-ing ready for me!" Then he stormed off, presumably to his dressing room. The other contestants and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and then started laughing. I had never, up to that point, seen a "professional" throw a tantrum quite like that. Bless him. But I have to hand it to him... nobody summoned him again until he was needed at that very moment.
I guess I could take a cue from Mr. Collins and throw tantrums and be ugly. But I'm certain that wouldn't be at all helpful. Because the truth is impatience stems from not being in control of a situation. I can't control other people or most situations. I can only control my thoughts, my attitude and my actions. Therefore, it all comes back to me. I look forward to the day when I'm in the presence of God and there is no more time to constrain me. But until that day, I will pray that God will help me overcome this frustrating flaw so I can learn to wait peacefully and patiently.
We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.
2 Corinthians 6:6 (NLT)
But ANYway... As I was about to say...
It seems I spend my entire life waiting - waiting in lines, waiting for slow drivers to get out of the left lane, waiting on people to return emails or texts or phone calls. And I hate to wait. I have the patience of, well... of somebody who has no patience. As we in the praise and worship business would say, it's not my gift.
The waiting in line or waiting on slow drivers is just a part of life, though. I get that. And having patience in those situations is on me... it's something I need to work on and pray about and fix within myself. I have found that many of my sins in this life are related to time. I seem to always be in a hurry, and it affects my attitude. Or let me rephrase that -- I allow it to affect my attitude or my mood.
My problem with time may be related to the years I worked in industries that required strict deadlines. In the television news business, for example, I had several deadlines per day: I had to produce (write and most times also shoot and edit video) and deliver three sportscasts for the evening news at 5, 6 and 10 pm, plus record another sportscast for the morning show after I finished the 10pm news. So I had to prepare and be ready... the news doesn't wait. After years of working in that environment I got used to doing my job quickly - accurately, yes, but I got it done fast. And I never really ever slowed down.
So when I have a job or a task that needs to get done, I don't procrastinate. I just do it. Some of the things I do for my job require me to think creatively, so it may take me a minute to figure out where to begin. But once I find my starting point, I'm off to the races. I just keep going until I've hit the finish line.
And it's not just with work, either. I was talking to a colleague the other day about decorating for Christmas. I love Christmas decorations once they are up. But the actual tasks of decorating and then removing the decor at the end of the holidays are not fun to me. And it's probably because it takes me such a long time to put everything up and take it down, and I just can't do it little by little. My friend said she decorates a little at a time, but it drives me crazy to leave it half done. So I just keep working my tail off until I finish the job.
With all this in mind, when I have to wait for someone to do something, send me something, respond to a text/email/call in order to finish the task I have in front of me, it drives me absolutely bananas. Why? Because it forces me to wait. And when I get on a roll and then have to stop and wait... and wait.... and wait some more, and I can't move any further into the work because I'M WAITING ON SOMEBODY who is apparently not in a hurry and/or doesn't care enough to respond...
Well, you get the picture.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I am typically dealing with a deadline, but that matters not to those I'm waiting on. So should I start on something new? Should I take a break and go talk to somebody or make a phone call, or walk the dog, or clean the house? Probably. But most of the time I just sit there and stew in my impatience, which of course does no good whatsoever except to successfully raise my blood pressure and give me a headache.
I remember when I was at the Miss America Pageant as that year's Miss Louisiana, the backstage crew constantly rushed us (contestants) to the stage during rehearsals, and then we would have to sit for sometimes an hour or more before we were actually needed to do something. LOTS of hurrying up to wait. Gary Collins was the host that year, and I vividly remember the stage crew summoning him to the stage. He got there, stood for maybe 2 minutes, and then started screaming, "Don't you f-ing call me out to the f-ing stage until you are f-ing ready for me!" Then he stormed off, presumably to his dressing room. The other contestants and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and then started laughing. I had never, up to that point, seen a "professional" throw a tantrum quite like that. Bless him. But I have to hand it to him... nobody summoned him again until he was needed at that very moment.
I guess I could take a cue from Mr. Collins and throw tantrums and be ugly. But I'm certain that wouldn't be at all helpful. Because the truth is impatience stems from not being in control of a situation. I can't control other people or most situations. I can only control my thoughts, my attitude and my actions. Therefore, it all comes back to me. I look forward to the day when I'm in the presence of God and there is no more time to constrain me. But until that day, I will pray that God will help me overcome this frustrating flaw so I can learn to wait peacefully and patiently.
We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.
2 Corinthians 6:6 (NLT)
Comments
You remind me so much of my 34 year old daughter. She home schools her 4 sons (well ..not the one year old.) She is the weekend weather forecaster at CBS 62 in Detroit , teaches Sunday school, does a half hour show during the week. Nurses the 1 year old . She juggles all of that and tries to hit the gym.. she feels guilty when she doesn't get a home cooked meal on the table every night .she feels she is in warp speed mode when her other friends aren't. The real truth is that she and you wouldn't have it any other way.. you two are over achievers. you both are type A.. and I'll bet your hubbies are bother type B... and I for one look up to both of you !!!!! your not going to relax until you "stroke out"... just not going to change .
Rick Shrewsbury