I'm not sure what's come over me in the past couple of days. Well, I suppose that's not exactly true. I DO know what it is. It's a feeling of centeredness, of focus. It's a mental and emotional calm. It's an answered prayer.
I woke up this morning with lyrics in my head... not someone else's, not like a song I heard on the radio that kept replaying in my mind. I woke up hearing unused, unwritten sentences. My own lyrics. A full verse and chorus, perfect and clear, rang out as I was just stirring from a good night's rest. It's amazing really; this hasn't happened to me in many years, and it has never happened quite this way. But there they were, the words just waiting to be unwrapped, like a little gift from heaven.
I got up, shaking the cobwebs out of my head, put the water on the stove to make a cup of sugarfree, decaf vanilla coffee, and turned on the laptop. It took less than 2 minutes to type out the lyrics that were front and center in my mind. And then, almost as an afterthought, I wrote out a chorus to an entirely different song.
See, I've had plans to record a gospel CD for quite some time, but my focus was off. I was concentrating so much on other things, people, and situations that were out of my realm of control, that I lost myself in the process. I lost my drive and direction. So the project was "out there somewhere" and not within my grasp. But after talking to a very good friend and musician the other night about the whole idea, it began to take shape. I even sat down at the piano and played him something I wrote several months ago, but haven't had the yearning to finish. And now, all of a sudden, like a bolt out of the blue, we have made plans for me to record the piano track at his home studio in the next couple of weeks. BAM! Just like that, the ball is rolling.
God is good, isn't He?
I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, but I do have one for 2009: I will complete this CD project. I won't do it for money or fame, or to try to "make it" in the music business. I will do it to show myself that with a little help from friends, and a lot of help from my Father, I can still accomplish something worthwhile. I will do it to show myself that I'm not finished, yet.
Not by a longshot.