Thursday, June 18, 2009

Fixing the Staff

My job description is quite extensive, covering a wide range of tasks and responsibilities. I plan member events, I emcee those events, I work on the website and do all the writing and editing for both the site and for printed marketing materials. I even take photos and occasionally sing the national anthem. I do a lot of stuff. But only recently have I realized that none of those things is my most important duty. This is.

This is the candy dish that sits on a little table in my office, along with a couple of plants and a lamp. Apparently, of all the things I do, my most important duty is to keep this dish filled so that I can satisfy our employees' need for a sugar fix. I'm the equivalent of a country club drug dealer, only the drug I deal is legal and apparently necessary for employee morale.

I've been so busy lately working on the new website that I (OOPS!) let the candy dish get nearly empty this week. You'd have thought I punched all my coworkers right in the gut and called them ugly names.

One by one, they would each take a step into my office to reach for a snack, just to realize all that was left were a couple of jaw breakers and suckers. Then they'd turn around, head down and tail between their legs, and miserably walk back out.

"Um... when are you gonna go get some more treats?"

"Do we not have candy anymore?"

"C'mon, Linnea! You're falling down on the job!" This came from my boss.

So at 7:45 yesterday morning before work, I was at Walmart. I got 5 big bags of their favorite treats, mostly Snickers and Tootsie Rolls. And miraculously, all day yesterday I had plenty of company. Everyone wanted to talk to me! Each would come in and sit down in the chair next to the candy dish and act like they were there to see me. Then, when they thought I wasn't looking, they would sneak their greedy little hands into the drug dish to feed their habits, and quickly make their exit, using work as the excuse to leave. As if I didn't know what they were after!

It was so funny, I giggled all day.

I told my boss that next time the dish gets empty I'm going to fill it with dried fruit and trail mix.
He gave me a look that said I am easily replaceable. I actually feared for my job.

So, I will remember from this point forward that in order to maintain the good morale amongst the staff (and to keep my job), I must keep the candy stash full. But in order for me to keep my waistline, I'll continue to hide my healthy treats tucked behind my computer screen. Having a dish full of candy in my office is quite the temptation for a chocoholic like myself.

But if I get a sweet tooth, I know right where to get my fix.

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